January 31, 2005
After being up all night from insomnia, I got to Philly at 11:15 this morning only to discover that USAirways has lost one of my bags, the one with MY COMPUTER IN IT!! My desktop computer, my backup and about 30 videotapes I have to work on in the next couple of weeks. Great.
I was kind of afraid that the TSA had confiscated it because there was also a bag with a rank jockstrap and a bottle of poppers, in it, so I wasn’t very hopeful about getting them back.
I’m staying at my friend Karen’s studio and I was supposed to meet her at 5:15 to see Bad Education. I took a much-needed nap.
A delivery company woke me up at 4:30 saying they found my bag and would deliver it between 6 and 10 tonight. I said I wouldn’t be home and asked if they could they deliver it somewhere else, I'd get right back to them with the other address. There was NO PEN in an ARTIST’S STUDIO to write their number down. Of course, I forgot it and spent 15 minutes on the phone with a USAirways voice-activated system that couldn’t understand a word I said! I called Karen at work to say I probably wouldn’t make the movie and she had already left work and her cell phone was not on. AARRGGGHHH!!!
Then I was on hold for 20 minutes with USAirways to find out what I could do. The agent refused to give me the number of the delivery people but assured me it was on it’s way. But to where??
Well, here I sit waiting for my bag. I cant leave and I’m fucking starving to death. Dammit!
January 30, 2005
Mardis Gras fans
Actually, the first two were driving tractors that pull the floats, two others are fathers of kids in marching bands. The rest of them are plain old drunk parade-watchers. The tractor-drivers have always been my favorites but I love them all.
The Phoenix was packed last night I got there kind of early for me, around 11:00. There were more bear and muscle-jock types than usual but I put that down to the tourist factor. Its always good to see new dicks and there were a lot of them! since I was early, I took my time, drank a bottle of water and got acclimated.
I couldn’t get a bite at the benches, so I headed to the bathroom and squeezed my way into the back. There was a young black guy there almost too williing to suck my dick. He was a stellar cocksucker, for sure, but I didn’t want to shoot so early in the evening so I pulled out before I gave him a mouthful of cum. He was into making out and kissing but I really wasn’t wanting to do that, at least with him.
There was a cigar-smoking, hairy stud who really caught my interest, though. He was a little too much into the silent act but he was so hot I dealt with it. I started rubbing his ass and this got him interested. He started to play with my nipples and stroke my cock. He moved my had to his balls so I could feel he had a heavy-weighted leather bag attached to them. I pulled hard on them while I got a taste of his ripe pits. He got really into it then and we exchanged some cigar smoke. This went on for a while. I really wanted to fuck him, but I knew with his strong, silent thing going on, it would take a while. Eventually, I said I needed some air and went back out to the bar.
Ric was out there. We had planned to meet another guy there and go back to Ric’s place for a threesome but we couldn’t find the guy and decided to go it alone. Turns out this was our first one-on-one together. I told him I knew I wouldn’t last long, being tired and having shot multiple loads the night before but we had lots of fun anyway!
Ric is a GREAT kisser and it almost never fails to get me rock hard. He has a well-equipped play room, too. He got in a makeshift sling on the end of his bed and I fucked his beautiful hole until I ran out of breath. His nipples can take so much abuse that I can use them to hold on to him while I’m fucking. Incredible! Then we got down to the real business of fisting. His hole is amazing. He doesn’t get a hand very deep but it goes in really smoothly and stays tight. I got farther into his ass than ever, four finger in the second ring!
Ric is definitely my favorite play-buddy in New Orleans, but after two hours I ran out of steam. He tried to sweet-talk me into staying longer but I just couldn’t do it. Still, passing The Phoenix on the way home, I had an obsessive urge to stop in again and finish myself off. This being my last Saturday of Mardis Gras. I thought I should take advantage. I took the high road and went home. Aside from it being rude to Ric, I was dead tired.
January 29, 2005
I just got back from a couple of Mardis Gras parades. They were really fun. The floats were beautiful, the crowd was rowdy and lots of men in the crowd were very hot and very drunk, as usual. A huge load of beads landed right on my head! Ouch! Hopefully tomorrow, during the daytime parades, I can get some good shots of the guys and not get beat up doing it.
New Orleans is crowded already for Mardis Gras which means The Phoenix is crowded, too. Next weekend is the final one but I won’t be here for that. Carnival is early this year, doesn’t coincide with Spring Break (thankfully) and it’s pretty cold, so the crowds aren’t what they normally are. Still, it’s pretty gaddam good!
I got there around midnight as usual and was surprised that the downstairs looked like a regular Friday night. Upstairs was a little more crowded but by the time I left, around 2:00, it was really packed.
I didn’t waste any time. As soon as I went into the bathroom I was pinned against the wall by a very hot, hairy, bearded fireplug-type in a leather vest. He had a nice fat dick but wasn’t really interested in having it played with. We made out for a while and got into some nipple play. His were prominent and thick—easy to find in all that fur. His mouth moved down to my neck, then my nipples. He was leaning over to get at them, so I had to let go of his cock. It didn’t take him long to move on down to suck me. He was good but I could tell what he really wanted.
He stood up, we kissed some more, then he turned around and guided my dick into his hairy ass. I loved the feeling of his butt hair rubbing against my cock. I wanted to make it last longer but he begged for my load. He got a big one, too. It was dripping out of him after I pulled out. I grabbed some with my fingers and he licked them clean.
I went back out to the bar for some air, thinking I might even be done for the night. I drank a bottle of water and reconsidered. I hung aout around the benches, played a little with some guys and was rude to a couple of arrogant gay ’jock’ types. (What a joke that subculture is!) These guys might be used to people clearing a path for them in their world but things are a little different in a place like this. I mean, we’re all in a dark room trying to get off, right? None of us are all that.
I returned to the bathroom and squeezed my way to the back corner. I started playing with a tall guy in a filthy jock with his t-shirt up around his neck. He was a good kisser. I was covered in sweat and he loved licking it. He wanted my piss but I couldn’t oblige. He really got into eating my pits, which must have been pretty rank by that time. He said he wanted somebody to shoot a load in them so he could lick it clean. A tall, hairy long-hair joined in and so did a smooth, short muscle-guy. the guy in the jock sucked us all but he kept looking at me while he did it. The muscle guy bent over and sucked the man in the jock and I fucked his ass. It was really tight but I managed. He finally left after getting himself off. Jock-man licked the long-hair’s balls, helping him while he whacked off. I shot on the hippie’s balls so the jock guy could eat it.
Then I needed some fresh air. Getting out of the packed bathroom was a real challenge.
Not bad for a Friday.
Ric is planning a small party for tonight but it seems to be falling apart. We’ll see.
I’ve got an extensive online profile on nearly every gay “dating” site in the universe. I clearly say my list of interests is complete. “If you don’t see it here, I’m not into it!” Still, people see what they want to see. They’re always asking me if I’m into, well, watersports, mostly. I also get a lot of responses from scat, serious bondage, kidnapping and slave types too, but, call me old-fashioned, I like sex in which people actually have sex.
I have nothing to say about scat but I have been seriously frustrated by this watersports thing. I’d really like to do it. I’ve been a WS bottom once or twice in my life and that’s kind of satisying. Unfortunately, even at 51 years old, I’m incredibly pee-shy. I could be having to piss so badly that I’m bent over, holding my groin and screaming. Then, when I finally get to a bathroom, if the urinals don’t have walls between them, I have to go to a stall. At a urinal or, god forbid, a trough, I could be in mid stream and as soon as someone walks into the room, everything stops. I can stand there and stroke my dick like they do in porn, but urinate? Not a chance. It’s CRAZY! I feel like a five year-old!
Anyways, I’m asking if any of the four or five people who read this blog have any suggestions. I’m at a loss here. You can leave them as comments, which I would prefer or email them to me directly. I’d really appreciate any help at all.
January 27, 2005
Drums & Tuba show
I went to a local club called TwiRoPa last night to see Drums & Tuba, a band I like a lot but have never seen before. The space is really nice, but it was very empty. There were only about 35-40 people there.
At first I couldn’t figure out why the sound board was on a table directly in front of the stage but it turned out that the opening act was a solo act called Micronaut. He walked up, pulled the table out a bit, lit a couple of candles and started playing. All he had was a small mixer, a weird LCD device I’d never seen before and a couple of pedals. His music was great. It’s kind of what I always thought dance music would sound like in 2005. The beats sounded nothing like normal drums and there were a lot of loops with tiny hints of melodies completely distorted. He used some spoken word loops but not enough of them, I thought. There was no singing or samples of fat, black women doing disco classics, thank god. It was pretty much the polar opposite of the collection of Depeche Mode remixes I listened to on the way there and back. On the minus side, there were no real transitions between songs besides some droning noises and the set had no real arc or drama. I’d go see him again, though, any time. I looked him up after I got home and it turns out he’s a teeny bit famous.
Since Micronaut only had to pack his stuff into a couple of small suitcases, there was only about a ten minute break before Drums & Tuba began, again with no introduction. There are three of them: a guitarist, a drummer and a tuba player. They were so much bettter than their records, it’s almost hard to believe—incredibly powerful. They very obviously enjoy what they’re doing, too. It shows clearly in their facial expressions and visual interctions. They play a kind of rock/jazz fusion I normally hate but they give it a hard edge with some help from machines looping, echoing and distorting the instrument sounds. It was fascinating to watch how they did some of the stuff. For instance, the guitarist would play a riff repeatedly and the tuba player would use something to capture it. Then I’d notice I could still hear the riff but the guy was actually playing something else. It was amazing. Things would suddenly start playing backwards or change tone and sond like they were playing on the other side of a huge hall or get really fuzzy. Since the “bassist” was actually playing a tuba and not a bass, he had a hand free all the time to fuck around with the machines. I guess this makes the tuba thing more than just a gimmick but maybe not. In any case they sounded fine and, after five albums, I guess it’s working for them. I know it worked for me, so who cares?
The guitarist, by the way, was very cute. I forgot to bring my camera so I used a pic of a porn star who looks so much like him they could be twins. Aside from the hotness factor he was also very animated and the most fun to watch.
I’m sorry I won’t be in town next Wednesday to see them again. Good luck in Europe, guys.
January 25, 2005
Johnny Bravo again
Wow! I just noticed I had a whole page up here without any filthy pictures! So here’s another self-pic of my WebCamNow buddy Johnny Bravo. I’ve posted about this sexy beast before here and here. Hot as ever!
Drums & Tuba
Where have I been?? I just found out Drums & Tuba, one of my favorite bands, have been playing in a club down the street every Wednesday this month. I nearly missed them! I just bought a ticket for this Wednesday night. Whew! Finally, something to live for!
January 24, 2005
My Film Debut
So I was in a porn film for Hot Desert Knights on Saturday night. (That’s their logo on the left in case you were trying to figure it out.) They specialize in fisting and bareback features.
I was incredibly nervous about it. Not about performing, really, but I had the usual feelings about being too fat or too old. Bill, the director, assured me that I was just fine but I wasn’t really convinced. Nonetheless, I signed the releases and got down to business.
My “costars” in the scene were my friend Ric and a young muscular guy I’d never met. we were told to start playing just like we normally would and Bill took a bunch of still pictures for promotion, the box cover and online galleries. Then he just started taping, giving minimal direction, like moving our arms out of the way of the camera or repositioning ourselves a little bit. It was easy. The only real problem was that the play space was fucking freezing. It was 35 degrees outisde and only one room had any heat!
We had a good time. The young guy was a real pig and had someone’s body part in his hole almost the entire time. He was a great bottom and was happy to take whatever we could give him.
It was a threesome which seemed kind of awkward to me. When Ric was fucking or fisting the bottom, I had to figure out what to do. I think in “real life” I would have been more comfortable. I might even have just taken a break. I figured it was best to stay in the action, though. Also, I’m not very vocal which doesn’t bother me in a film but, again, it seemed to be what the director wanted.
We were done in about three hours and then had to prepare for the cum shots. I said I wouldn’t be able to do one in the position I was in and that was OK with Bill. It took the other two guys a while, though, and we were there for another hour or so while we got those done. This doesn’t really mean anything since there is quite a bit of pressure to get these right.
All in all, I’d do it again in a second. It’s easy money if nothing else, doing what I probably would have been doing anyway. I’m sure next time I won’t be so nervous.
I wish this post was “hotter,” and it was while I was doing it but, after a couple of days, this is how I remember it.
Another good thing is that Bill and I discussed licensing some footage from my adult web site. that’s great news for me since those tapes are just sitting in a box in Provincetown.
January 22, 2005
I was really cranky when I got upstairs at The Phoenix tonight. I thought it would take about five minutes before I slugged someone for jostling me. (I hate being knocked around!) Luckily, this didn’t turn out to be true. The jostling didn’t stop, I just didn’t hit anyone or start screaming like a lunatic’not very sexy.
There was a really fat guy reclining totally naked on one of the benches, sucking any dick that came his way. He sucked mine until I got hard and I headed to the bathroom. It was crowded and totally dark. I managed to sqeeze into the middle of the room and just stood there with my hands in my pockets. I figured I just needed to get off and go, since I wasn’t in the mood to be around anyone in the first place. My dick was in a couple of mouths and nearly as many butts, but I have no idea who they were or what they looked like.
Out at the bar, I ran into a guy I play with there a lot. His jeans were soaked from someone pissing on him. We kissed some and he sucked me for a while. He got busy emptying his bladder in a piss-pig’s mouth. Piss ain’t my thing so I looked elsewhere for some fun.
Back out by the benches a really hot guy with a bandana on his head and a dark goatee caught my eye. He was on his knees servicing a bear-type who pretty hot too. I walked over and helped them along, kissing the bear and playing with the other guy’s nipples. They both stood up and we all kissed and stroked each other’s cocks. Bandana guy got down again and started sucking my dick. He was GREAT! He was determined to get my load and , with some help from the bear, he did. He stood up right away and kissed me hard, giving me my load back. I love that.
He pulled me back so he was against the wall and we made out some more. Man, this guy was really fun and 1even hotter than I thought at first. He spread sweat from my shaved head on my face and licked it off. Then he said, “I want you to fuck me,” and pulled my shirt and leather suspenders down. Dammit! Why the hell didn’t you say that before you sucked a load out of me? Given that I had to “perform” in a film the next night, I wanted to leave while I still had some sexual energy left. I had to beg off. Too bad.
Tonight something hit me.
I was talking to The Crusher on the phone around 5PM and my host left the apartment. After I hung up the phone I took a nap and woke up around 7:30. I had a cup of coffee and wanted to go back to sleep right away. I couldn’t do anything. The urge to sleep was nearly impossible to fight off but I did it. It was incredibly hard to not just walk back into the bedroom and lie down.
I made myself take a shower which didn’t help much. Then I forced myself to sit at the computer and finish up some banners for Cruising for Sex. By this time it was about 10:30 and I still wanted to just be unconcious. I figured that I needed to get the hell out of the house and headed out to The Phoenix. I didn’t have the car so I had to take the streetcar and walk through The Quarter. I left the iPod home because I figured this wqould give me time to just be with myself without distractions and with no possibility of just lying down and ignoring everything.
I’m pretty familiar with depression, having struggled with it for years but it’s been a long, long time since I felt like this. Let me tell you, this was terrible. It’s as close to suicidal as I’ve ever been. The walk did the trick, though, and I think I have it figured out. (He said, hopefully!)
I’m leaving New Orleans in a week and, for at least a couple of weeks after that, will not really be living anywhere. Money is tight partly because of the ongoing iBill problem which I wrote about before. (I sent out some invoices this week, some of them nearly a year old, so that problem should resolve itself soon.)
Mostly, though. I think the problem is that I’m 51 years old and I’m absolutely not prepared to be an old person. It’s not that I feel old or look bad or anything like that. And my life had been lots of fun, for the most part. I just feel as if I’ve wasted a lot of time that could have been spent preparing for the time of my life when I won’t be able to run around and have a good time.
It’s not like I chose a responsible career or anything which would help me prepare for my future. No! I decided to be a pornographer and move to a different city every couple of years! My god!! What have I done?? as David Byrne once sang back when he seemed talented.
Anyways, I think being so sick for a couple of weeks and having to have “Same-Day Surgery” the other day and having to leave this place before I have another place and really not wanting to even be in this apartment anymore has finally just left me feeling really overwhelmed. I just want to sit and stare out into the air and I can’t, dammit! I will just have to get over it, I guess.
Well, The Phoenix was fun and, I think, just what I needed. More about that tomorrow. Also, I talked to The Crusher on the way home and he was a soothing balm—well, that’s what he would say.
January 20, 2005
I got a call tonight from a friend. He asked if I wanted to be in a Hot Desert Knights bareback/fisting film being made in NOLA this weekend. Of course, I said, “HELL YEAH!!” More details as I get them. YIPPEE!!
January 19, 2005
Sorry I've been kind of quiet lately. A tiny piece of General Tsao’s Chicken took a liking to my esophagus the other night and refused to leave. It rendered me completely unable to eat or drink even a sip of liquid for about 18 hours. Needless to say, I was a bit cranky and not in the mood to write!
This has happened before but never for longer than a few minutes. I went to the local emergency room after a couple of hours. The attending physician, Dr. Camero, was really great. He was informative, answered all my questions thoroughly and asked if I had more, let me make my own decisions, did not talk down to me and was very, very cute. Unfortunately, he couldn’t really help and I had to wait until the next morning to contact my PC who found a GI specialist to treat me.
They had to do an endoscopy to remove it. They numbed me out (very nice!!) and gave me Merced, a drug which is supposed to make the patient forget the procedure even happened. I’ve been intrigued by that stuff for a long time and was kind of excited about taking it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work on me and I remember every hellish second. Luckily, the procedure itself worked and I can eat again. My fantasies about a future of eating strained peas through a feeding tube are fortunately going to remain unfulfilled for the time being.
Moral: Chew your food thoroughly.
January 17, 2005
The Ultimate Fighter
The beautiful men on the left are the judges on a new reality show which STARTS TONIGHT!! It’s The Ultimate Fighter and it will be broadcast on Spike TV every Monday after WWE RAW. Sixteen men will compete for two Ultimate Fighting (UFC) contracts. The guys in the 2nd set of pics are already UFC fighters so, chances are you’ll see some of them around, too. I love watching hot men beating the shit out of each other, so this show seems like it was made especially for me!!
January 15, 2005
Typical Friday, not very crowded, very dark upstairs. I headed straight to the upstairs bathroom where there’s always at least a little light. Turns out it was a good idea. I yanked it out and got hard in an instant. Within a minute there was a hairy ass impaled on my dick. A nice one too! Meanwhile my ass is getting eaten by some other guy. I pounded as long as I could and tried to take a break.
The ass-eater was persistant. He stood up and started kissing me. Then he took a hit of poppers and backed up onto my dick. Luckily, he did most of the work and he had a great ass. I noticed a regular Phoenix play buddy in the corner and he joined in for a bit. I pulled out and went downstairs to get some air and, unfortunately, clean up a bit. The second guy was kinda drunk and wasn’t exactly “prepared,” if you get my drift.
Back upstairs and I couldn’t get a bite for a while. I ended up at the bar talking to my play buddy. The first guy I fucked in the bathroom joined us and turned out to be an over-talker, who was so boring it was almost violent. I managed to change the subject and get him bent over. I fucked him again while he sucked off my friend. My buddy got distracted by another guy and disappeared somewhere. After a lot of effort, I finally shot a load in his ass. He wanted to chat, of course, but I made my excuses and left the bar.
January 13, 2005
I sure hope Martin Scorsese gets over his fascination with Leonardo Dicaprio soon. I mean, he’s good and all but I never seem to be able to forget that I’m watching Leo and not a character in the film. Maybe this is my fault but his baby face still gets between me and whatever I’m watching.
Anyways, The Aviator is a good movie but not as thrilling and exciting as I know it could have been. Hughes is a great character and neither his enthusiasm for flying nor his lunacy moved me as they should have. There are a couple of intense scenes about his phobias that work really well. One in which he’s in a public bathroom and afraid to touch the doorknob so he can exit is really unnerving. It’s not something most of us would ever even think about but it brings Hughes to a frightening stop and nothing else matters.
Kate Blanchett IS Katherine Hepburn. It’s fucking creepy, I swear. I was never a big fan of Hepburn’s and Blanchett perfectly encapsulates everything I hate about her. It’s a startling performance. I was aware that I was watching someone impersonate her but reacting emotionally to the character. The sequence in which Hughes goes to Connecticut to meet her family is pure gold. I wanted to stand up and cheer when it was over. Brilliant.
As Hughes deteriorates, his emotional connection with both Hepburn and Ava Gardner, who both care deeply about him, seem to be the only things that can break through his psychosis and move him. The door to the screening room in shich he lived for several months becomes a kind of confessional with those he loves and a barrier against people he loathes. (Unfortunately, the film gives the audience no idea how long Hughes stayed in this one room. If I remember correctly, it was over a year.)
Hughes is a perfect subject for a film and, it might seem, Scorsese. This story has everything, almost literally! I wish it was better. Scorsese is firing on all six cylinders here and his technique is thrilling and fun. The film is stuningly beautiful to look at. The CGI is great, seamless and never a distraction, which would be disastrous in a movie like this. Something is missing, though. Still, I’d see it again.
January 9, 2005
For those of you who care as much about film as I do’after all, I did go to NYU Tisch School of the Arts during the film-heady 70’s:
the film club, Slate’s essential annual e-mail discussion among critics from around the country. This year’s edition is particularly tendentious.
Take 6: 2004 Film Poll which is exactly what it says it is. No interaction but lots of interesting stuff about movies no one’s ever heard of.
They’re both long reads but well worth the trouble. These people LOVE movies.
January 8, 2005
The Crusher and I have resolved a few of our differences and things are back to normal’or as normal as things get for us. Personally, I’m thrilled. I don’t know what he thinks and if I asked he’d probably just say to stop being such a fag.
Beautiful tatts by the beautiful Khristian at Mooncusser in Provincetown.The Crusher has had the rest of the sleeve done since I took this pic. When I get some pics of the rest of it, I’ll pass them along.
January 7, 2005
Full frontal nudity
Here are some hilarious reader reviews of the timeless The Family Circus. You’d better read them now before Amazon discovers them.
January 5, 2005
A typical New Orleans Cemetary on All Saints Day. New Orleans Cemetaries are above ground because the city is below sea level. They are beautiful, like being in another world.
January 4, 2005
I’ve been up most of the night working on the final series of ads for CRUISING for SEX ’Get your DICK on Rt. 66 Tour.’ It took me hours to squeeze the details for five events and logos for seven sponsors into a 2.25 x 5.375 ad. My client thinks that, since the ad is small it should be easier to do. In fact, the opposite is true. I mean I could not care if it’s legible but that’s not me, unfortunately.
Anyway, if you live in or near LA or Long Beach, you might want to check them out. There are a bunch of bar events and a sex party. You can get details here. I had lots of fun at the event they had in OKC.
On top of that I had an argument with The Crusher, a SuperStud and my best friend from Cape Cod, which remains unresolved. He called me back while I was sleeping this afternoon so a reconciliation is probably in the cards.
I promise more sex stories are coming. It’s been an unusually long time for me, that’s for sure!
Say good night, Gracie.
January 3, 2005
I’m feeling much better today. I even ran around Magazine St. for a while this afternoon. Tomorrow morning I take my host, Dorian, to the airport for the Internext event and I’ll have this big apartment and a car all to myself until Saturday. Why it’ll almost be like having my own place!!
This is a picture of Dean, a beautiful man whose picture I took at the Great Plains Gay Rodeo in Oklahoma City about nine years ago. His charm and good looks sold a lot of t-shirts over the course of that Memorial Day Weekend. I don’t know anything about him except that he was at a table hawking merchandise for some GRA in the Northwest. In this picture he’s buying a poke chop sandwich. MMMMMMMM.
January 2, 2005
Beech Forest, Provincetown MA
I’ve had the the flu, I think, so I haven't been writing much. I didn't go out on New Year’s Eve, not even to The Phoenix to get blowed.
Anyway, I have thousands of pictures I’ve taken in the last couple of years and it’s about time someone got to see them besides myself. This one is of some Pitch Pine bark on a tree in the Beech Forest in Provincetown. The Beech Forest was my favorite place to go in Ptown. It’s part of Cape Cod National Seashore, and it’s usually, thankfully, deserted. There is some cruising around the parking area but I never saw more than a couple of men there at a time. Most tourists don’t go anywhere except the bars, the beach and the gym but they really miss out on some incredibly beautiful stuff. On the other hand, I could always go there for some peace and quiet which is very hard to find in Provincetown in the summer. It’s one of the few things I really miss about living there. That and all the stores closing at 11PM!