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April 6, 2005
Last night’s Big Mess Cabaret
Last night’s Big Mess Cabaret was a benefit for The Jillene Ringle Solo Performance Fund. Jillene was a local performer who recently died from cancer complications. She was immensely talented, completely self-taught and will be sorely missed by her friends and fans. (The picture is not of her, by the way, but from last night’s show.) The Cabaret was shorter than usual and was put together hastily. Nonetheless, it was great! Again, I urge anyone who hasn’t seen Big Mess to see them the next time they perform. The show is always different and always hilarious. I swear.
I ran into some old AA friends who I haven’t seen in years, sitting at one of the front tables. They are more “old-fashioned gay” than I am and were there because they were fans of Jillene’s more traditional solo cabaret shows in Cape May, NJ. It was nice to see them and all but I realized pretty quickly that I don’t have a lot in common with them anymore. Mostly, I was glad to see that they are all still alive and healthy. I still go to AA meetings but my admittedly small social circle is a whole different group of people. They caught me up on a load of people I barely remember and many who I don’t remember at all. I just nodded my head like I knew who they were talking about. I mean, one of them still gets Christmas cards from the facilitator of a therapy group we were in over ten years ago! He was good but Christmas cards from a therapist??? Please.
It’s really hard for me sometimes being around regular gay people. I almost feel like they’ve been programmed to like certain things and somehow (thankfully) I missed that day in class. Why, for instance, do I hate everything about American Idol but to nearly every other fag in the world it’s practically like porn? I swear they beat off to it. It’s not like I’m some self-conciously macho, self-hating queen or one of those new ball-cap-wearing faux sports-lovers or anything (I even loved Madonna before she joined a cult!) but their entertainment choices are completely bizarre to me. (Josh Groban?!?!? Come on. What a milquetoast.) Remember when homosexuals were on the cuting edge of style?? Yeah, I barely do, either. But still.
So, where does that leave me at 51?? Well, I’m actually very happy socializing with other gay folks online and having sex with them in person. My friends are few but well-loved. Some of them are gay but none of them like show tunes.
Posted by HighStrungLoner in Music at 2:02 AM
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